i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize