I hate all girls vehemently.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize