News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize