It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out on top of his cat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize