my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize