If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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