Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize