Whod you bang
Plan B is the new Plan A
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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