mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize