I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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