i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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