yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize