I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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