i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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