someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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