You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize