who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize