So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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