why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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