32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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