You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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