Cold hands, warm shart.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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