and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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