if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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