At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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