I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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