yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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