I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize