I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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