she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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