Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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