Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize