He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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