Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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