He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize