I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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