Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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