Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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