I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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