Life is so much better after having sex.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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