I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize