Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
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