dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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