Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
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I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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