I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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