ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize