you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it hurts more in the daytime
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize