Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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