You can't special order awesome
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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