Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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